15/10/2016 – Screamland

As the sun sets over Margate, Dreamland transforms into Screamland and all sorts of ghoulish creatures crawl out from their hiding places to cause havoc and mayhem!

Not only does Screamland boast 5 haunts that range from the camp and fun jump scares through to exceedingly creepy and disturbing themes, but the entire park gets a new overhaul, from the Screamland sign light show and Halloween themed music through to the smoke machine hiding the roaming actors, there was plenty to see and do whilst waiting for either the rides or the haunts, all of which simply added to the atmosphere!

 

The Final Cut presents… They Came From Outer Space

Our first haunt for the night was The Final Cut which had been re-themed from when we last entered at ScareCON earlier this year (read that review here).

The haunt’s intro has remained the same, though that’s definitely not a bad thing as it helps you feel like you’re really entering the movie.

Once you’ve entered the movie, it’s clear from the get-go that you’ve found yourself the star in your very own sci-fi/b-movie extravaganza, which pays homage to the greatest b-movies about, from Little Shop of Horrors to Tron. This was a great re-theme of a haunt with some fantastic props and scares that’ll make you jump into outer space!

 

Dead & Breakfast II – Murder Hotel

Next up, seeing as The Final Cut leads straight into it, is Dead & Breakfast II. Preceding the haunt was a series of 4 clips showing Fag Ash Lil in her attempt to find love on a rather suspicious sounding online dating website…

The haunt theming and story itself doesn’t look like it has changed much from the first Dead & Breakfast (read here), however this doesn’t detract from the experience at all – the theming is still incredibly detailed and the scares are still as surprising as they were the last time we entered the rotting seaside bed and breakfast. What has improved is the use of scents to immerse guests further, especially in one specific scene that made all of us recoil as we entered the room.

The finale is still incredibly clever and absolutely perfect: even though we knew what was coming, it was still a tense and jumpy experience!

 

The Bloody Mirror

Our third haunt for the night was The Bloody Mirror, a very basic haunt set within the mirror maze that exists in the park year round: based on this knowledge we weren’t expecting much from it, but in fact we were pleasantly surprised. The very basic theming kept us on our toes as we weaved our way through a very small number of scares in this disorientating haunt – a smoke machine and a well-placed laser would have gone down well in here.

This is a great place to start if you’re looking to try this kinda thing for the first time, otherwise it’s a bit of fun.

 

Festino’s Forgotten Funhouse – King of Clowns

This haunt has moved from a big top in the car park last year into a permanent building inside the park, giving it plenty of space to expand into something quite incredible!

Themed around clowns, guests will be utterly devoured in the bizarre acid trip of a haunt that uses some clever tricks to get some jumbo sized scares in this wild freakshow!

 

The Paradise Foundation

We saved this for last, despite the fact the queue was absolutely dead when we got there but after hearing what was said at ScareCON, we knew this had to be the last haunt we did.

We were not disappointed.

Based on what could possibly be a very real scenario, guests will enter the foundation and meet some rather disturbing characters who’ll transform you into the very best version of you using some very revolutionary but controversial operation practices.

This haunt is definitely not for the easily disturbed as the story is incredibly dark, with inspiration taken from goreno/grindhouse and psychological horror movies, which will shock you to the core as you take your tour through the foundation.

Not only are your eyes and ears spoiled rotten with stimuli, but your nose and even sense of touch is, especially as you draw closer and closer to the end – the finale will absolutely blow your mind and leave you wanting more. If there’s one haunt that is sure to disturb you this Halloween, it’s this one.

 

Overall, Screamland has set our expectations exceedingly high and we can’t stop talking about it, especially The Paradise Foundation!

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15/10/2016 – Screamland

29/08/2016 – Terror 13: Asylum

 

After seeing their panel at ScareCON in May, I made it my mission to give Terror 13 a visit; it turns out that New Brighton is only an hour away from Blackburn where we experienced Snuffhouse the night before, making it a great weekend to go and a fantastic warm up to the Halloween season!

 

On four hours sleep, we meet up with some friends in the early afternoon and hang out around the beach before heading to our time. The two weeks leading up to our tour we had been poking and prodding the monsters dwelling beneath the streets of New Brighton, agitating them for our tour. We arrived at our designated time slot to find music befitting Bioshock floating on the breeze outside their doors. We knocked and were greeted with a grotesque monster who pointed toward the front desk where we paid the very cheap admission and were led down into The Asylum.

 

We were given a guided tour of The Asylum by the monster that greeted us at the door and as we progressed, we realised that there was quite a disturbing story unravelling.

 

We met some of the disturbing “patients” that tormented us and actually got a few jumps out of us at points before they were calmed down and set away by our very unnerving guide who had no issues with invading our personal space and playing with us.

 

After a quick reminder of the rules of the haunt (no touching the actors, no running etc), we were bought into the main attraction itself where we were split up and made to take part in the show ourselves, locked away in claustrophobic spaces whilst the rest of our group were tormented, and forced to watch some really horrible experiments with some absolutely incredible props, especially with the twins (fantastic scene right there!). We were then led down a lurid corridor painted with loads of UV paint and UV streamers hanging from the ceiling, where we met Sad-o the clown (who I genuinely felt sorry for), but he got his own back!

 

We also met a pair of extremely creepy dolls that freaked me out when we saw the costumes at ScareCON; they were much creepier up close in the haunt! They were absolutely fantastic in the way they communicated with us and how they encapsulated the dolls’ personalities – the second scene with them was a fantastic twist!

 

We saw plenty of other scenes that need to be experienced to see how powerful they are before being chased through some dark, winding corridors and up a set of stairs, we found ourselves back in the brilliant sunlight a whole 45 minutes later.

 

This is a very strong boo haunt that feels like it takes inspiration from Goosebumps and Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects as well as the acid trip from the Beavis and Butthead movie, rolls all the inspiration up and throws it inside a mental asylum to bring you a spine-tingling and dark humoured journey through the tunnels beneath New Brighton. We’ll be heading back at Halloween for their Karnevil show, which we’ve been told will be absolutely terrifying!

 

 

 

29/08/2016 – Terror 13: Asylum

23/04/2016 – Cracked-Survival Experience

“Explain your experience in three words”.

 

I’ve always been a fan of being scared. I’ve done most of the title holding rollercoasters residing in the UK and have attended countless haunts over the last decade, and whilst they were fun, I knew I was safe at all times so the scares didn’t really get to me – I needed an extreme haunt.

What is an extreme haunt? Unlike boo haunts (the kind of haunts at theme parks where someone jumps up and yells “boo!”), Extreme haunts are generally physically and mentally demanding, and require the guests to be the main characters of the story. Generally speaking, you will be armed with a safe word, be put in a very small group (with some making you go through alone!), and sent on your not-so-merry way.

About a year ago, I discovered a few extreme haunts in America and read all the reviews I could on them, trying to figure out their stories and what happened inside: I needed to do something like this, that made the scenario you’re in feel real.

 

Out of nowhere, I get a message simply saying: “look up Cracked Survival”.

 

After a bit of Googling and Facebooking, I find myself requesting access to the New Recruits page – a page specifically set up for the promotion and general chit chat around Cracked from those that have been and those that are interested in going. When asking about what took place inside, everyone kept their lips sealed, or responded with “we are all Blake” – a rather cryptic message.

 

Eventually, curiosity got the better of me and I ended up buying a ticket for a friend and myself (I definitely wouldn’t have shown my face if I didn’t have someone I know with me). As soon as I had paid for the tickets, I found myself being added to a secret group with other attendees where questions were asked of us over the course of three months, allowing Blake to slowly and surely embed himself within all of us. As each question was asked, I found myself trying to analyse them, try and find out what was in store for us and break the game before the game got a chance to break me. Blake’s presence grew.

 

Friday 22nd April came around, and at 19:00 on the dot my phone vibrated. “Dear Subject 3, it is now 24 hours until Cracked: Experiment 2.0 begins.” My heart skipped a beat and my hands went clammy. I stood with my friend in the middle of London at rush hour on a Friday night, workers rushing to catch the earliest train how they could, partygoers heading to their first venue of the night…. and us two, heading to a hotel way up north to experience something that only a handful of people have experienced before us.

 

Saturday day was surreal: it was almost like being in purgatory. We had a low key day watching stuff on TV and YouTube, generally saving energy before the big event. 18:00 eventually comes around, and we go to meet the two other subjects in our group. 18:45 soon came around and we headed off to the pickup location, speculating what could happen to us. We round a corner and immediately meet a stern faced woman. Any sense of joy dissipated quickly. We handed her any earthly possessions we had on us and, get directed down a dirt path and the experience began…

 

Within minutes of the event starting, our meager group of four were slowly being chipped away, bit by bit, in the middle of the countryside by Sarge (a character you do not want to be on the right side of, let alone the wrong side) who worked us until we were lying breathless on the floor at his feet, before being loaded into the back of an army van, and bound and hooded and taken to the real location.

Over the next 90 minutes, Blake, Sarge and the small army of assistants continued to erode at our physical being, the assistants making sure we did exactly what Sarge wanted us to do, to make sure we wouldn’t cut corners or to correct us if we were doing wrong. I found myself saying “sorry Sarge” more and more as my body slowly broke down.

After doing one particular task that I failed miserably at, I get punished and I crack: I scream the safeword and I lay there absolutely disappointed with myself. My time was over.

Blake was instantly there along with one of the assistants offering their hand to help me up, and I’m guided away from the rest of the group (who continue on with the tour for another 2 hours before cracking – see her review here).

I meet the stoney-faced woman from the beginning of the experience at the top of the stairs, except she had dropped the cold, clinical persona and was absolutely sweet! She asked how I was physically and mentally, asked what happened to make me safeword, then offered me a hot drink, though a bottle of cold water was much more appealing. I took the bottle of water and shook Blake’s and her hand, and made my way outside to my chariot back to the hotel whilst they returned to torment the remaining subjects.

 

Photography by PastaCore Alternative Photography

 

It took almost two hours for the adrenaline to finally clear my system – I went on a good hour walk just to try and figure out what I had gone through, but I just couldn’t: there was just far too much to process. I was extremely disappointed that I cracked at something so basic – I found out after that I was extremely close to getting into the next scene, and all I needed to do was choose a better way to vocalise my panic: the safeword really and truly was not the noise I wanted to make.

That night I managed to get to sleep at about 02:30. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see Blake’s mask there, almost as if it had been permanently imprinted in my mind’s eye. I finally do find myself passing out, though the sleep wasn’t very fitful as the fatigue was quick to set in.

Cracked is an extremely fast paced, intense, and uncomfortable haunt. It is designed to push you to breaking point and beyond. You need to be both mentally and physically tough to survive the full six hours, and realise that your worst enemy in there is not who you think it is.

 

“Explain your experience in three words”

I am Blake.

23/04/2016 – Cracked-Survival Experience