02/06/2018 – Faceless Ventures X – IUXTA MORTIS (private show)

Cracked – Survival Experience is a notorious event in the UK haunt scene, which has slowly started making ripples in the world haunt scene as they teamed up with the legendary Heretic Horror House to create two of the most intense, violent, disturbed shows imaginable, Cracked vs Heretic; IUXTA MORTIS comfortably sits itself between these two shows in the Cracked mythos.

A set of stairs lead down to two doors. I step through the first and close it behind me. Knocks on the next and I’m guided inside. A white face stands before me, then blackness – my vision is taken from me. A hand gently takes mine and leads me into the room. I kneel. My vision is returned and I come face to face with a gas mask, which embraces me. I’m guided onto my back and my vision goes again. Silence, except for a bit of white noise and the sound of movement. A voice breaks the white noise: Blake’s. I live his life, or rather, death. Buried, alone but not, mourning.

On my knees again, the mask removed. The stoney faced woman from my time in Cracked 2.0 caresses my face and begs me to see the real me. A baptism by blood before ice stabs at my face – I panic but hold my breath. A mirror and a reflection: “Can you see yourself, Blake?”. Who am I?

Vision is lost again, and the gentle hand guides me through the dismal apathy. I lie down for the doctor as a wave of serenity washes over me. I begin laughing as I see shadows get extracted from my stomach, though this laughter soon fades. My head’s immobilised as the shadow of the doctor looms over me. I close my eyes and get told off: I need to see this.

Darkness consumes me again. The hand takes me to a room, and I’m sat down and handed a piece of paper: I read. “I am Blake”. My world is ripped from beneath me as I stare up at my demons – a choice, as heaven and hell do battle. I continue to read as my angels and demons go to war. I’m rushed out.

Au revoir sight: I’m back on my knees in the gas mask. Blake embraces us, thanks us, and we leave.

 

Who am I?

I am Blake.

02/06/2018 – Faceless Ventures X – IUXTA MORTIS (private show)

13/10/2017 – Farmageddon

Farmageddon has a lot of reputation behind it, that’s undeniable: I really wanted to add it to my lineup last year, however as many people know, their tickets sell out phenomenally fast and I missed out on the opportunity. Being more clued up this year, and with a gentle nudge from a friend, we got tickets and I finally had the opportunity to get to one of the most famous scream parks in the country!

We finally got to Farmageddon at 9pm, after driving roughly 4 hours from south London and hitting a hell of a lot of traffic which caused all of us to panic, as we really wanted to see all the haunts but were afraid that it wouldn’t be possible in the 90 minutes we had. Sounds like a bad intro, right? Well, we thought it was too.

After getting our wristband and entering the park, the atmosphere hit: loud metal tracks blasted its way through the air, sound effects were going off everywhere, clever visuals projected/playing on walls and the like, and everyone was just absolutely buzzing as actors roamed about, getting scares here and there from the unsuspecting victims.

After panicking and deciding that we could forfeit the Zombie Paintball experience, we jumped into the massive queue for Terror on the Farm, a 20 minute attraction through multiple different sets that lacked a story, but where it lacked in story it really made up for it in set pieces – there were huge animatronics, live actors very cleverly hidden in with props and other set pieces, and special effects that we really weren’t expecting! The queue itself looked horrendously long, but the queue seems to constantly move, meaning that you’re only queuing for maybe 20 minutes at most; we started getting a bit nervous because a quick moving queue means that large groups are being pushed through as quickly as possible, and from previous experiences, that generally means you’ll also be queuing to get out: not the case here. Group sizes are exceptionally small (we went through as a three) and are batched quickly: taking it at a casual pace, we never bumped into the group in front, which is an absolute miracle! The scares themselves were all jump scares, but the actors and effects were so on cue that they even got me to jump and shout a few times! Honestly a very impressive haunt that left me shaking a bit!

 

Our next haunt of choice was The Meat Locker. We joined the queue (which also looked horrendous) but as we navigated the cage maze that makes up the queue, we discovered that in fact there were multiple queues and the one we were sent down only had a 10 minute wait at most – score! This one had more of a dedicated theme – Saw meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre but with a slightly sci-fi twist. The door in front of us automatically opens and we’re ushered inside with another small group (no more than 6 or 7 of us in total); the door closes behind us and a sound clip explaining the loose story plays as the room fills with smoke and the lights go out. We’re ushered out of the room and end up in corridor after corridor of what can only be described as a goreno fantatic’s wet dream: bodies and limbs lie all over the place, blood splatters line the walls, and props are dotted all over the place. As with Terror on the Farm, the scares here are mostly jump scares though some of the actors like to creep about or hide in plain sight before getting you. The whole haunt you’re left to wonder where the next scare will come from and just when you think you know, the scare comes from a completely unexpected place! Props and live actors work in harmony to ensure that you get at least one scare. To say it’s intense would be an understatement, as I caught myself using my jacket to hide behind as I led the group through the attraction! I absolutely loved this haunt from start to end, though I was definitely glad to catch my breath after being chased away!

 

Our final haunt for the night is Contagion 3D – a name that really doesn’t fit the theme. Over the last two years, I’ve done plenty of 3D haunts and the 3D effect more or less works for most, but Farmageddon has really nailed it on the head – 3D paintings line the walls, ceilings, floors, props, actors… absolutely everywhere, making it almost impossible to discern a prop from a painting on the wall or from an actor, and the scares well and truly play on this deception and disorientation to create some truly surprising jumps that seemingly come from nowhere! I won’t lie, I felt like I was taking in the 3D effects far too much for the actors to actually scare me, but the amount of detail that went into making this haunt work is impeccable! The zigzag slope after the vortex tunnel really made it feel like we were in a twisted funhouse, and the dubstep track that was playing really added to this effect (if anyone knows what it is, drop me a line!), but what was by far the most impressive was the fact that as soon as you said a name in there, the actors instantly picked it up and passed it onto the actors in the following scene – Amber from Parks, Scares and Glitter got absolutely tortured by actors, which was the funniest thing for us to watch! The finale in this attraction was also incredibly strong, and made me high tail it out of there as quickly as I could whilst still trying to retain my coolness (ha!).

 

The thing with Farmageddon’s haunts is that they really know what they’re doing with their make up: there were points during the haunt I was convinced a prop was an actor and vice versa, only to be surprised when an actor jumped out from elsewhere! Not only does the actors’ make up match the props design, but the actors and props work in harmony – an actor might jump out at you quickly followed by a huge set piece or special effect triggering, meaning you’re completely bombarded with scares as you make your way through! I had so much trouble trying to predict the scares that I actually gave up and just started wandering round suspecting absolutely everything, and not even that prepared me for some of the scares!

 

Wow, what can I say? All three of the haunts were absolutely incredible in their own right: intense, detailed, and incredibly jumpy! I thought that I’d be able to give criticism easily, as there was a lot of loud music playing right outside the haunts themselves and I was readying myself for sound bleed from outside, but I don’t remember picking up on any noises coming in from outside! I can honestly say that the only criticism is that we turned up later than anticipated and didn’t get the “full” experience of just wandering around and taking it in, but from what I got to experience outside the haunts, I was just as impressed with – never did I think I’d see a queue of adults cutting shapes loose and fast to a clubland cover of Eiffel 65’s Blue as a guy dressed in a similar fashion to Frank n Furter dropping it like it’s hot in 6in heels! Tickets have sold out as of today, so if you missed it this year I suggest getting in early next year! Definitely the surprise of the tour!

 

13/10/2017 – Farmageddon

14/10/2016 -Broadwitch HauntFest

October is here and the Halloween haunt season is in full swing!

 

The first, and extremely spontaneous haunt (I planned this 4 hours before the gates opened) of the season was Broadwitch HauntFest! Based in Southfleet, Kent, this attraction boasts 5 haunts that range from creepy all the way through to terrifying!

 

Spooky Castle

spooky-castle

Our first haunt was Spooky Castle, where an ancient evil dwells within, preying upon people that step foot in its halls. Spooky, right? Right! This deceptively small haunt takes you on an eerie journey through the castle, where you meet all sorts of creepy characters, most lurching from extremely clever hiding spaces built within the intricate theming! If you enjoy an evolving story and lots of creepy scenes, this is absolutely perfect for you, and will definitely catch you out with some of the scares, including a new twist at the end that we weren’t expecting, which was refreshing!

 

MassAcre

massacre

This is a haunt hidden away toward the back of the park in a cornfield. I’ve never been a fan of outdoor haunts as there’s too little control (i.e. lighting, nature, etc), but let me tell you, this completely blew my mind! The haunt itself is a great use of space but is sparsely themed, but that doesn’t detract from the haunt itself – the corn leaning in on you as you walk through is creepy enough – small shacks and sheltered areas are dotted around to break up the haunt which allow for unexpected scares: the first screamer definitely set the tone, which felt like a bit of a gamble but it definitely paid off tonight!

 

Thirteen

thirteen

This haunt, whilst not as strong as the first two, definitely had a lot going for it – the opening scene was rather disorientating and claustrophobic, which only got darker and darker as you progressed – soon enough we were groping about, trying to find our way whilst trying to ignore the strong smells coming from the next room. The scenes themselves were fantastic, stimulating you sense of sight, smell, and sound to bring you an entertaining haunt; the only downside is the transition between the scenes, but what they’ve done is fantastic – kudos to the clown who made me jump so much I almost fell down the stairs!

 

The Edge

the-edge

A very sudden change in theming for this next haunt: vampires! I have honestly never been a fan of vampires and find them hard to be scary, but this detailed haunt took us through gothic catacombs infested with bloodsuckers determined to drain us of our blood. From homages to Nosferatu through to Van Helsing, these creepy bloodsuckers came at us from every angle in order to get our necks! This haunt is worth a trip through if for the ending alone!

 

Biometrix

biometrix

We saved this for last as it received a SCAR award in 2015, but I was honestly rather disappointed with it. The concept is a great twist on the army/genetic modification gone wrong theme, but with the lack of actors and theming, and the recycling of scares, what could have been an amazing haunt fell flat on its face – definitely needs more smoke and/or strobe lighting/lasers in the long corridors to break it up a bit. Even though this reads negatively, it wasn’t a waste of a haunt – I still enjoyed it, but there’s a lot more that could have been done to really polish it off.

 

Whilst not part of the haunts, the roaming actors were alright except for Judy from Punch and Judy who is AMAZING! But seriously, all the roaming actors were extremely creepy in their own ways and were greatly welcomed by the general audience and everyone they interacted with.

 

Despite the minor gripe with Biometrix, as a whole, the event is extremely professional and well organised, with a great team of actors and front of house staff that kept us entertained the entire time we were there. Definitely worth a visit!

 

 

14/10/2016 -Broadwitch HauntFest